Wednesday, 5 November 2014

... of News

In the name of Allah the most gracious and merciful.

Dua topik utama 'berita' yang aku terima this past few weeks: 1) a few people pass away 2)my friends PhD graduation/thesis submission.

news 1. This pass few weeks banyak betul berita someone I know pass away or losing their love ones. One of them is my junior who lost her battle to cancer. yesterday, one of my friend loss her father, few weeks back my best-friend's grandmother pass away, and last week a friend of mine here in Kg. L. lost his father also due to cancer.

There are not many muslims here in Kg. L. When death occur, of course I'm a bit panic. How are we going to manage the jenazah? Mandi, kafan etc. Yes I have learn them in school. But if  we are in Malaysia it'll be a bit different. But here in Oz? Mana nak cari kain kafan? kat mana nak mandi jenazah? kubur macam mana pulak? Lots of things run through my mind at that time. This incident is indeed a wake up call for our community here (well I hope so!).

But Alhamdulillah, Allah have make ease. Everything went smooth. I learn lots of thing. A lot! Knowledge that can't be learn from books. I see a different side of few of my friends and people here. The experience was invaluable. 

Nevertheless, receiving too much 'death news' this few weeks indeed saddens me. Being a 'thinker', I can't help to think lots of stuff. What happens if I die here? etc... Masa kita juga akan tiba. Bila fikir betapa unprepared nya aku....  Semoga nyawa kita dicabut dalam keadaan kita mengingati Dia.

news 2. My FB feed is full of graduation and thesis pictures. Not forgetting instagram! From the bottom of my heart, I'm truly happy for my friends who have graduated or have submitted their PhD thesis. They motivate me. Aku pun nak pakai jubah Harry Potter dengan topi leper tu jugak! InsyaAllah I'm trying and doing my best. Indeed my journey have been wild! Full of ups and downs. At times I do feel down and starts asking myself what am I actually doing but remembering the reward at the end of the tunnel, I just keep moving. The reward? Seeing Papa's smile when I stand on stage at Albert Hall and fulfilling my promise to Mama.

More or less I have about 10 months left. Ok...takut!

Mixed feelings. Scared, happy, tired, stress and also sad. Sad because I just have about 10 months left in Tas. A part of me wants to go back, be with my family and of course berkhidmat untuk agama dan negara! patriotik tak aku? but a part of me wants to stay here... Entahlah. Aku sendiri keliru dan tak faham. Benar benar tak faham. I'm scared and sad both at the same time bila aku fikir yang aku akan tinggalkan Kg. L. What I can say now is that I am not looking forward to go back to TGG. hmmm.

I need to focus now. Whatever it is, I must first end this journey gloriously! may He give me strength and courage.

My Game plan:

Usaha Luar Biasa + Doa tanpa jemu + Tawakkal = Glorious PhD!

'Dan orang-orang yang berusaha dengan bersungguh-sungguh kerana memenuhi kehendak ugama Kami, sesungguhnya Kami akan memimpin mereka ke jalan-jalan Kami (yang menjadikan mereka bergembira serta beroleh keredaan); dan sesungguhnya (pertolongan dan bantuan) Allah adalah berserta orang-orang yang berusaha membaiki amalannya. ' |Al-Ankabut : 69|

When the time comes... Allah knows best.

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